Directions? Check. Tunes? Check. Bail money? Check-mate! I'm stocking up for my "Giants Of The Prairies" road trip across the province, to see the various "world's biggest" roadside attractions set up across Alberta, to lure in tourists to rural areas not normally akin to tourism. And luckily, due to a lack of anything or anyone else noteworthy, no riding has more prolific "Giants Of The Prairies" than the subject of our ninth installment of the CCC's 28-part series, Better Know A- Lberta!

Today's feature is the riding of Westlock-St. Paul: the fightin' World's Largest everything!

Located in Westlock-St. Paul is the village of Glendon, home to the world's largest boiled dumpling, the World's Largest Pyrogy. Celebrating the proud Ukranian culture of the village and province, the town built this 25-foot pyrog-beast (with fork included) on Pyrogy Drive...in Pyrogy Park...next to the Pyrogy Cafe...in the Pyrogy Capital...which even features a Pyrogy Flag. Boy, all this talk of food is making me hungry...where's the nearest Quizno's?

The riding is also proud home to the World's Largest Oil Derrick, a 168-foot former active derrick that overlooks the town of Redwater. Commemorating the precious resource that brought Alberta to glory, the tree-stapo today would complain that this derrick only represents corporate greed and environmental destruction. Well maybe so, but when was the last time the General Sherman powered your Hummer or paid for your own private island?

And finally, W-St. P is home to the World's First, Only and Biggest UFO Landing Pad in St. Paul. The pad's welcomes "all visitors, from Earth or otherwise" to the town, challenging the Hollywood stereotype that aliens would rather land in big cities, like D.C. or or New Jersey, than a small prairie town...but can you really blame them for wanting to avoid New Jersey? Finally, a tax haven for my accountant Gorlock to launder store those "gifts" from Ted Stevens!

And which MP has the Giant prairie pyrogys to serve his constituents of all life forms? Why, it's none other than Conservative MP Brian Storseth, who has served the riding since 2006. Contact MP Storseth here to bring all beings, human, alien, or Megamerican, under the intergalactic banner of Colberta!