Now, I am no athlete by any means, but I have been brushing up on my sport skills...and by skills, I don't mean baseball, because I'm afraid of needles. No, I'm in training for my 2-foot kick and Inuit keel jump...I am so not losing to the Yamalo-Nenets Autonomous Okrug again this year! My trash talk is all in preparation for the 2010 Winter Arctic Games, to be hosted in the subject of our second installment of the CCC's 28-part series, Better Know A- Lberta!

Today's feature is the riding of Peace River: the fightin' stream of fury!

The riding gets its namesake from the city of Peace River, notorious for its wild city festivals, like the annual rager that is the PeaceFest, or the Festival Of Trees, which rarely ends without police riot gear. The city is known here in America as the hometown of the current ABC Bachelorette, Jillian Harris, who hopes to take home a strapping lad and bring him back to Peace River...for the first intercontinental mandatory post-show break-up yet! MESNICK!!!

The riding is also home to Grande Prairie...now, I've got some beef with this town. Not only do they promote global warming by calling itself "The Swan City" for the endangered trumpeter swan, but then they go and name one of their most popular parks...the Bear Creek Reservoir. BEAR Creek? It's backwards enough you can golf at midnight here, but BEAR Creek? They are godless killing machines, and will devour your family while camping in this crazy town!

And finally, Peace River also features one of the crown jewels of the province's "Giants Of The Prairies" program, in the city of Beaverlodge...the World's Largest Beaver. Yes, you read that right. Nothing makes the people of Beaverlodge prouder than having this 15 foot high majestic animal look over their town. However, their pride is being threatened by nearby Sexsmith, who is in talks to erect the World's Largest Pink Taco next year. Let the games begin!

And which MP is responsible for cleaning up big beavers across the riding? Why, it's none other than Conservative MP Chris Warkentin, who has served the riding since 2006. Contact MP Warkentin here to let him know the only Festival in Peace River next year should be the Smooth Jazz Mayonnaise Festival!