As a loyal employee, I need to keep talk on the shows I watch from outside the Viacom family on the D.L...but my blood is boiling over the ABC show Eli Stone. Please: a man who can see the future and uses his powers to help the weak and poor? I believe I've already read the book, thanks. Perhaps this show's only saving grace (no pun intended) is star Natasha Henstridge, a total knockout, and a native of the subject of our twenty-second installment of the CCC's 28-part series, Better Know A- Lberta!

Today's feature is the riding of Fort McMurray-Athabasca: the fightin' Big, Lesser and Hind lakes!

The riding is best known for the Athabasca Oil Sands, known worldwide for its vast supply of 1.7 trillion barrels of untapped petrol. Drilling has already begun, but before they've been able to get to the really juicy parts, the envi-Gore-mentalists have thrown their hat into the ring, claiming that this will "damage" habitat, "emit" greenhouse gases, and "poison" the water supply. Hey, tree huggers: zip it, count your cash and enjoy the sweet taste of Crude-Aid!

Ft. McM-A is also home to Wood Buffalo National Park, Canada's largest, at a whopping 17,000 square miles. The park is home to the world's largest herd of Wood Bison, and the only known nesting site of the endangered Whooping Crane: but as a result, the park is now yet another UNESCO World Heritage Site...UNESCO, quit being a buzzkill already! If I feel like a plate of slow cooked bison with a whooped crane drizzle, that's my right as an American!

Finally, the riding is also home to Athabasca University, a popular distance education school. Now, I normally take issue with any institute of "higher" learning...but Athabasca may be worst of all, in that their student body is well outside the Report's demographic age range! Sure, there are those who say parents, soldiers and prisoners need an education too: just be sure to put down your pencils, books and baby/rifle/shiv Mondays-Thursdays at 11:30, people!

And which MP sits atop this literal goldmine of un-rigged riches in Alberta's vast, uninteresting north? Why, it's none other than Conservative MP Brian Jean, who has served the riding since 2004. Contact MP Jean here to have Fort McMurray-Athabasca start razing them trees, rigging them derricks, and counting that cash!