You all know I am no proponent of global warming...sure, while the free market has decided its real because it embraced An Inconvenient Truth, I still have my suspicions...especially of any man married to a woman named "Tipper." What drives my denial further? Knowing there are cities that can enter into a 15-degree (and that's fahrenheit...no metric, you hosers!) deep freeze without a single speck of snow, such as the subject of our tenth installment of the CCC's 28-part series, Better Know A- Lberta!

Today's feature is the riding of Edmonton-Centre: the fightin' capital Centre!

The Centre is home to the Legislature Building, home of the Alberta Legislature. The 83-member house governs over the entire province, with only 11 seats not belonging to the ruling Conservatives. The Legislature is also responsible for oppressing the mighty Separation Party Of Alberta, disallowing their voices to be heard; Legislature, let my Albertans go!...so that they can eventually become loyal Colbertans under my new totalitarian regime!

The riding is also home to the Victoria School Of Performing And Visual Arts, a major liberal arts high school. Now, you all know I am all against the arts, especially any sort of biased "liberal" art (where is the art from the gut?), but the Vic School has produced such Hollywood legends as Leslie Nielsen, Robert Goulet, and friend of the show Tommy Chong. Canadian entertainers for American entertainment revenue dollars? I'll take it...and stop calling me Shirley!

Finally, the Centre is home to Churchill Square, the city's major public square, hosting major events and festivals during the year. Unfortunately, most of these "freak-stivals" are of the artsy fartsy nature, whether its granola crunching at the Taste Of Edmonton or exchaning hemp hammocks at The Works & Art Design Festival. Thankfully, there's still a parade that values true old-fashioned fun: exciting floats, colorful costumes, and assless chaps.

And which MP has the frozen "Cheech and Chongs" to govern over this governing riding? Why, it's none other than Conservative MP Laurie Hawn, who has served the riding since 2006. Contact MP Hawn here to book the date at Churchill Square: its time for the Colbertan Freedom, Independence and Pride Festival!