SHUT DOWN THE SITE! SHUT DOWN THE SITE! Sorry for the panic folks, but I've been hearing rumours that those who oppose me may try to take me out of commission, so I've decided to avoid the altercation altogether by proroguing the website and duck from the consequences! And who inspired me to take this drastic action? Why, its the MP of the subject of our fifth installment of the CCC's 28-part series, Better Know A- Lberta!

Today's feature is the riding of Calgary-Southwest: the fightin' Automatrons!

The Southwest has the proud distinction to be the riding represented in Parliament by Canada's Prime Minister, Stephen Harper. Harper is the proud leader who, admist a firestorm of Liberal dominance in Ottawa, defied the odds and saved Canada, returning us to its Conservative glory in 2006...or only 77 days after the founding of The Colbert Nation. Total number of Celine Dion albums under the Liberals? 7. Under Harper? 1. Thank you, O glorious one!

The riding is also home to current Canadian Prime Minster Stephen Harper, who has so much CFIA-approved gravitas that he refuses to be defined by one political party, or even ideology. So much in fact, that Harper has served under four different parties: the Progressives, the Reform, the Canadian Alliance and now the Conservatives! He will not let one party or ideology hold him down, as he answers only to one holy trinity: his gut, his financiers, and his balls.

And finally, the Southwest is the home seat for MP Stephen Harper, who also is currently serving as the 22nd Prime Minister of Canada. Did I happen to mention he's the tenth most popular Stephen in history (behind yours truly, and Popes Stephen I-IX), and that he's the only current world leader named Stephen? And no, you do not count, Marcus Stephen of Nauru or Stephenson King of Saint Lucia! Get your nations a Wal-Mart Superstore first, then we talk!

And which MP struggles to handle all of the wild, oh-so-exciting different happenings in the riding? Why, it's none other than Conservative MP (and current PM) Stephen Harper, who has served the riding since 2002. Contact MP-PM Harper here to make Colberta home of the world's second world leader named Stephen!