It is obvious by now that I am no fan of the environment: if God intended there to be big rigs and oil spills, who are we to question his motives? Like questioning PM Harper putting in an oil-rigger happy Albertan MP to serve as Environment Minister...sure, it makes about as much sense as having a Surgeon General from Denny's, but who are we to judge? Either way, the man tasked to "save" Canada's environment was formerly MP of the subject of our twenty-seventh installment of the CCC's 28-part series, Better Know A- Lberta!

Today's feature is the riding of Calgary-Centre North: the fightin' north centre!

Centre North is home to indie rockers Tegan And Sara, who went to Crescent Heights High. Now, I've got some beef with these two...mainly because they want me to stop eating beef. The sisters have appeared in numerous ads for PETA, trying to guilt-trip me out of enjoying the meat offerings that Jesus provides me. Not to mention they are signed to the label of "frenemy" of the show Neil Young...now that I think about it, I think I've just lost my appetite.

CCN is also home to the Calgary Zoo, which sits on St. George's Island in the Bow River. The zoo is currently home to over 1000 animals, and features exhibits highlighting every continent and its animal inhabitants. Check out the botanical gardens, see a giraffe at "Destination Africa," and see the "Canadian Wilds" exhibit to see a proud American Black...uggggh...an American Bl...ugggh...BEAR! Beware, Colbertans: the riding is overrun with killing machines!

And lastly, the riding is the hometown of Todd MacFarlane, who created the renowned story (since spun off into other franchises) of an ex-military man, mistakenly sent to hell, then returned to Earth to use his new hell-bound powers to fight evil-doers in a position of unwielding power. Wait, we're not talking about the same story here? What do you mean the story is called Spawn? I thought we were talking about Puppet Master: The Dick Cheney Story!

And which MP reigns as "Master Of Puppets" over the bear-hugging constituents of Calgary-Centre North? Why, it's none other than Conservative MP Michelle Rempel, who has served the riding since 2011. Contact MP Rempel here to make sure she keeps Colberta rockin' in the oil-profit-based!